Better Behavior Starts With The Brain

Better Behavior Starts with the Brain

What It Looks Like in a SKILLZ Class

When kids struggle with behavior, it’s easy to assume they need firmer consequences or

stronger discipline. And that might be your first instinct as a parent.

But brain science—and what we see every day inside SKILLZ classes—tells us something different: Behavior improves when regulation comes first. (Have you ever had to give yourself a “timeout” to calm down?)

At SKILLZ, we don’t start by trying to stop behavior.

We start by helping the brain settle —because learning and self-control can’t happen until it does.

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Here’s what that looks like in real life.

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What’s Happening in the Brain (and Why It Matters)

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When a child is overwhelmed, frustrated, embarrassed, or overstimulated, their

thinking brain temporarily goes offline. Think about yourself - a full-grown adult. When you’re feeling those things, you aren’t in your most receptive learning-state, either. How can we expect kids to be?

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In that moment:

• listening drops
• impulse control drops
• reasoning doesn’t work (ever try to reason with an upset/dysregulated toddler?)

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This isn’t defiance. It’s biology.

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That’s why SKILLZ instructors are trained to respond to the state of the child, not just the behavior they see. We strive to be responsive, not reactive.

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Example: A Child Gets Upset After Losing a Game (if you’ve seen Anders in class, Coach Kayla’s 4 year old, you’ve seen this!)

In many settings, this might lead to:

• a warning
• removal from the activity
• a lecture about sportsmanship

In a SKILLZ class, it looks different.

A SKILLZ instructor will:

• get down to the child’s eye level
• calmly name what they’re seeing: “I can see you’re really frustrated about losing.”
• acknowledge the feeling: “That makes sense, losing can be hard.”

This simple response helps the child’s brain settle.

Once the child is calmer, the instructor might say:

“Let’s take three deep breaths together, then I’ll help you figure out what better choices can be made.”

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Only after regulation comes learning.

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Why This Works

SKILLZ instructors are trained in co-regulation—the process of helping a child calm their

nervous system through connection, movement, and supportive guidance.

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Over time, children begin to:

• recognize their own emotions (Anders will gladly tell us when he is grumpy or doesn’t want to talk ‘right now’)
• recover faster from frustration
• handle challenges with more confidence

What starts as adult support becomes a child’s internal skill. 

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Discipline That Builds Skills

This approach doesn’t mean there are no boundaries.

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It means boundaries are taught when the brain is ready to learn.

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After a child is calm, instructors help them:

• reflect on what happened
• practice better choices
• repair and rejoin the group

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This is how discipline becomes development.

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What Parents Will Start to Notice:

• fewer meltdowns over time
• improved confidence
• better emotional awareness
• skills transferring to home and school

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Because when kids learn how to regulate, behavior improves naturally.

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The Big Picture

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Kids don’t struggle because they want to.

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They struggle because they’re still learning how their brains work.

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At SKILLZ, our instructors don’t demand those skills before kids are ready.

We help them build them—one calm, connected moment at a time.

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Because better behavior doesn’t start with consequences.

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Better behavior starts with the brain.

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